Festive season survival tip - Return to the heart
As we approach the New Year, I thought I would write about the end of December.
A happy time for some…. and a very difficult time for others.
The festive pressure cooker!
It’s easy to feel burdened, upset and triggered at this time of year.
My goodness no matter how much we love our families, boy-oh-boy… they can bring up the “stuff”.
You know what I mean…the regressing back to childlike states, behaviours etc.
The way you feel sure you NEVER behave with others!
We choose them!
From a Tantric perspective we chose our birth families.
We have chosen their tweezer like abilities to squeeze us at the deepest level.
Why? Because they are our greatest teachers.
They offer us prime opportunities to see where work needs to be done (on ourselves because we CANNOT control what others do).
They are there to help us grow and ultimately find freedom.
That’s all very well…
BUT how does that help me deal with the S*%t that comes up?!
If you are triggered by certain family members or loved ones - go outside, breathe and go back to centre.
Yes keep breathing…. and take it one day at a time.
This time of year is full of what what the brilliant Wendy Mandy calls "moments of stress in PPT" (People, Places and Things) that are “familiar".
"Familiar is all they are - like an old jumper" she says. "You don’t have to wear it!”.
Instead Wendy wants us to CHOOSE… to “put on a new jumper". A jumper of GRATITUDE for a start.
Why Gratitude?
The warmth and comfort that we ALL deep down seek is found in gratitude AND forgiveness.
Give love out and it comes back.
NB: not always from where you gave it but from unexpected places;).
The medicine in the attitude of GRATITUDE:
Negative thought patterns will only feed a negative state of mind.
Science is now proving that twenty minutes a day of practising gratitude can alter negatively charged neural networks in your brain. This can be down in just six weeks. YOU CAN START today!
To the triggering PPT:
“I am grateful to have you in my life today- thank you for showing me where I need to do more work on myself”
Come and see me (via Skype or in person when I am back in February) for a one to one session focused on YOUR gratitude affirmation. These really can help shift our approach and perspective on life.
The medicine of FORGIVENESS.
Awwwww the dastardly duo of Blame and/or Shame!
Yes one or both of these can be directed at yourself and/or others. They are potent long term WMDs (weapons of mass destruction).
And contrary to the momentary self righteous, grandiosity gives us feeling we feel better than another and right to NOT FORGIVE or LET GO of what they did to US… they are a straight path to M I S E R Y!
Be a Detective:
As soon as you sense Blame or Shame creeping in- be it at your siblings, parents, spouse, children, work colleagues… or turned at yourself…
STOP!
Name it… out loud or to another.
Your resentment- (which is what blame or shame fuels) is eating you more then the other person.
And it will pollute and like a cancer: take over your day, relationships etc your festive time.
Don't let that happen.
NB: This does not mean you continue to enable the other person if there is something they are doing… email me for a session to discuss setting boundaries and the deep aspects of forgiveness.
By choosing forgiveness you are willing to heal and FREE yourself:
We all at some level want to be free of the behaviours that crush us deep down.
“I love you
I forgive you
And I surrender you to the universe”
And keep saying it over and over and over…
Trust me.
It works.
Let GO of the other person, the behaviour.
Let IN the love of the universe/god (or whatever you choose).
Let the force of the universe and nature take responsibility for that other or your deep self.
(Thank you Marianne Williamson)
I wish you a beautiful and peace- filled festive time.
My goodness we need this in the world right now.
BE THE CHANGE in your own life that you want to see outside in planet and greater society.
My hope is these words offer some tools to navigate you through an intense time.
1. Whatever it brings you, hark what Rumi said:
"welcome whatever comes… even if it is a crowd of sorrows…because each one has been sent from a place beyond"
Everything is an opportunity for growth and liberating yourself from contracting behaviours and a contracted, destructive life.
You CAN do this!
2. Consider helping those in need :
Whatever your custom- take a moment to think about those who have no family, or home or place to go to this time of year.
Those who are on the street in your own town/city.
If you have time and are willing- consider offering some of your time to charities like Crisis .
An afternoon helping serve food and talk to those who really have nothing can make such a a difference to others. It can also be a deep healing balm to invoke gratitude and perspective| within.
With love and warmth and festive ho ho hos!