Fear of Silence


Yes this happens for many. And many are in denial about it.

One client a while ago shared with me he feared silence.

Each day when he got back from work he would turn on radios, TVs or make a phone call to create sound and distraction. He confessed he was not even listening to the devices. Neither did he usually need to make a specific call.

I asked him why he compulsively had to create noise around him. 

It took him several weeks to answer this.

And then clarity descended:

“I feel alone” in silence. He was single at the time.

“When there is no other noise it reminds me I am alone… and I don’t like that”.

I feel lonely and it underscores I have no one or no thing in my life.

We have done a fair amount of work on this. During his work through the "5 Elements for life" sessions he began to implement short periods of silence each evening when he came home. Silence was one of the many tools we used to assist him in finding more direction and contentment in his life.

Silence began to help him quieten his mind in a way he did not expect. 

We still work together today.

He accepted he was using noise to FILL a void. 

He accepted he was seeking something outside of him to fix the loneliness he felt inside. 

He did not think he could ever feel content just being himself, living alone. 

He also came to realise he enjoyed the silence but he feared what others (his friends and colleagues) would think of him. 

He is in his 50s (divorced) and unlike his ex-wife had not met someone else. 

He thought people would think he was a “loner” and would pity him thinking he had no one that cared for him in his life. 

Things have shifted for him tremendously. There’s still a lot more to go; but he is on the right track of realisation and acceptance. 

Emily Reed